Scott Van Pelt Part 2 (With Tiger Woods) 08/24/16

If you are actually good at Madden, I don't want to hang out with you

If you are the guy that plays Madden and you were really good at Madden, I don't like you. That tells me that I don't want to hang out with you.

The Little League World Series is better when kids are crying

I think the Little League World Series is losing who they are. I think the mic'd up coaches saying that they love all their kids too much... I'm here to watch kids screw up and cry. If you're going to make me feel bad about that, I hate you.

I want the Fox NFL Sunday injury music played at my funeral

I actually said a couple of years ago, I want that song [Fox NFL Sunday injury music] played at my funeral... seriously... if I'm dead, you guys are going to die too.

Joe Flacco is definitely an elite quarterback

Is Joe Flacco elite? Duh. Obviously. He won the Super Bowl. Hello.

Tiger Woods will likely never win another major championship

Gun to my head, Tiger wins another major? Probably not. I mean, I don't know. He hadn't played golf all year. Also, there was a gun to my head.

Stanford will win the Pac-10 this year

Prediction for Stanford football this year. Well, I can't... I have a hard time saying winner of the Pac-12, so I'm going to say the winner of the Pac-10 still.

I'm betting on Ole Miss week one because Hugh Freeze held a fake funeral for himself

As people who know my gambling problem, I will be betting Ole Miss week one without a doubt. If you bury a football, if you plan a fake funeral for yourself, if a beloved mascot dies, that team's going to win the next game.

Tom Brady's absence from practice is linked to a heist or Roger Goodell's death threats

Tom Brady cut his thumb and missed the second preseason game... he then missed practice on Sunday and Monday... Roger Goodell just said that he received some death threats over the weekend. Hmm. Did Tom Brady take part in a heist? Something happened.

Roberto Aguayo needs to be bullied by Richie Incognito to fix his kicking

I think if we're going to truly go kicker psychiatrist, this is just a simple issue of Richie Incognito needs to go down there and bully him... We need Richie to go down to Tampa Bay, stuff him in a locker, tape him up so he can't move... keeping the kickers of the NFL in line.

Tim Tebow will be signed to a baseball team by next Wednesday

Tim Tebow update next Tuesday... Tim Tebow will be signed on a baseball team as of next Wednesday.

Peter King will inevitably 'eat the trash' again and tweet something offensive

Peter King... he's like a dog that keeps eating the trash and getting sick... Within a few months, Peter King will eat that trash again. He knows he shouldn't eat the trash, but the trash is there and it's delicious.