PMT DB
PMT DB
Scott Van Pelt and Tiger Woods on Elite QBs, Ska, and Major Titles
Madden Day used to be a national holiday, but Big Cat and PFT Commenter are officially over the modern version of the game. Big Cat is still rocking an Xbox 360 and doesn't want to learn how to do a shoulder-shrug-spin-dab just to gain three yards. The conversation quickly turned to the kind of people who actually take the time to master the new mechanics.
Big CatIf you're actually good at Madden, I don't want to hang out with you
If you are the guy that plays Madden and you were really good at Madden, I don't like you. That tells me that I don't want to hang out with you.
Speaking of things that have lost their way, the Little League World Series is currently under fire for being too wholesome. Big Cat is fed up with the mic'd up coaches telling kids they love them instead of letting us watch the raw emotion of a twelve-year-old striking out and crying on national television.
Big CatThe Little League World Series is losing its way because the mic'd up coaches are too soft
I think the Little League World Series is losing who they are. I think the mic'd up coaches saying that they love all their kids too much... I'm here to watch kids screw up and cry. If you're going to make me feel bad about that, I hate you.
Things got darker during the Mount Rushmore of Sad Songs. While Hank was busy Googling songs about tragic family situations, Big Cat and PFT Commenter discovered they had the exact same funeral plans. It involves a specific piece of NFL broadcast history.
Big CatI want the Fox NFL Sunday injury music played at my funeral
I actually said a couple of years ago, I want that song [Fox NFL Sunday injury music] played at my funeral... seriously... if I'm dead, you guys are going to die too.
Scott Van Pelt joined the show for a marathon session that proved why he's the best in the business. After acknowledging that he looks like a "penis man" without his glasses, he jumped into the deepest debates in sports. He didn't hedge when asked about the most important question in Baltimore sports history.
Scott Van PeltJoe Flacco is definitely an elite quarterback
Is Joe Flacco elite? Duh. Obviously. He won the Super Bowl. Hello.
Big Cat made sure to remind Scott Van Pelt that despite the TV contracts, Maryland still feels like an intruder in the Midwest.
Big CatMaryland will never feel like a real member of the Big Ten
Does it bother you that Maryland will never be a real member of the Big Ten? ... It makes me want to puke every time I see Rutgers and Maryland for the football schedule.
Midway through the interview, Scott Van Pelt actually pulled out his phone and called Tiger Woods. In a moment that felt like a fever dream, Tiger actually picked up. He wasn't ready to give a concrete return date, but he did have a very specific vision for his alma mater's conference.
Tiger WoodsStanford will win the Pac-10 this year
Prediction for Stanford football this year. Well, I can't... I have a hard time saying winner of the Pac-12, so I'm going to say the winner of the Pac-10 still.
Before letting Scott Van Pelt go, they discussed his legendary 2006 leaked voicemail and his surprising affinity for the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones.
Scott Van PeltMighty Mighty Boss Tones songs sound happy, but the lyrics are actually quite grim
The boss tones are pretty, you know, it's like happy sounding music. The lyrics can get kind of grim.
In the segments, the guys checked in on Hugh Freeze, who apparently staged his own funeral to motivate Ole Miss. While most people see a coach losing his mind, Big Cat sees a massive gambling opportunity.
Big CatI'm betting on Ole Miss week one because Hugh Freeze held a fake funeral for himself
As people who know my gambling problem, I will be betting Ole Miss week one without a doubt. If you bury a football, if you plan a fake funeral for yourself, if a beloved mascot dies, that team's going to win the next game.
Finally, the show introduced a new segment dedicated to Peter King's inability to stay off Twitter when he sees a controversial topic. Big Cat compared the MMQB writer to a dog that simply cannot stop itself from digging through the garbage, even though it knows it's going to get sick.
Big CatPeter King will inevitably 'eat the trash' again and tweet something offensive
Peter King... he's like a dog that keeps eating the trash and getting sick... Within a few months, Peter King will eat that trash again. He knows he shouldn't eat the trash, but the trash is there and it's delicious.
If Tim Tebow actually signs a baseball contract by next week, we might have to start taking the 'Connect the Dots' segment seriously.
