Chet Holmgren should spend his injury year getting 'dummy thicc'

If I'm Chet Holmgren, I'm spending this year, like doctor's orders. You can't go on the treadmill. You can't go on the elliptical. No Peloton, no stair climber, just get dummy [thicc] Chet. Just get fat, Chet. You'll be a better basketball player.

Week Zero should always feature at least one ranked team to feel meaningful

What they should do is there should be one matchup every week zero where one of the teams is ranked number 25 in the nation. Just put a ranking next to it. I don't care... just like put those little numbers next to one of the team's names to make me feel like I'm not completely wasting my Saturday.

Either Russell Westbrook or Patrick Beverley will be gone from the Lakers by mid-season

This is going to be the team that will absolutely implode. It's going to be incredible. Like Russell Westbrook and Patrick Beverley there, that's the very definition of like, there's only room for one of those two guys. Like one of those guys is going to be gone by mid season. There's no question about it.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?