The NFL is dead because of the new preseason penalty rules

Today is Monday, August 20th, and the NFL's dead. Yeah, it's absolutely, there's no reason to watch the games this year, because everything's a flag. Yep, preseason football has shown us. We're not overreacting, guys. I saw a couple clips on Twitter. It's over.

NFL referees should have a finite amount of flags to throw per game

How about the refs get a certain amount of flags? So there's a finite amount of flags that they can throw. So they each get like five flags. And once they're out, it's just – and you know it. The players know like, okay, that ref has thrown – let's say the guy who's reffing the secondary has thrown all five of his flags in the fourth quarter. Just fucking do whatever you want because you can't throw anything.

The NFL will eventually call significantly fewer of these new preseason penalties once the regular season starts

I actually think the NFL is going to figure it out. I'm no longer in the hysteria camp. ... They're setting the tone. And once the season starts, they're going to probably call significantly less of these penalties. And I just can't imagine the NFL being like that one penalty that we're talking about, the Vikings sack. Like that can't be called. They won't do it.

I never liked the Phillie Phanatic

I didn't like that mascot. I never liked the Philly [Phanatic]. ... I walked in the clubhouse and he's sitting there signing the baseballs. I got him and he said, 'what the hell are you doing here?' ... I said, 'out! Don't you sign another baseball. These guys don't want to see your name on the ball.' ... I had problems with that guy.

Ted Williams is the greatest hitter in baseball history

Who's the best hitter you've ever seen in your life? Ted Williams. ... This guy could hit like nobody I've ever seen. I'm telling you, he was amazing.

No baseball player will ever hit .400 again unless they cheat

Do you think anybody's going to hit 400 again? No. No. Only way they'll hit 400 is a cheat. ... Nobody hit 400.