Hard Knocks stinks

Hard Knocks stinks. There's nothing that can turn around a bad episode of Hard Knocks like watching it with a cool dog... The ending was, I had to like check myself because they had the dramatic rainstorm and Liev Schreiber was doing some unbelievable speech, and then I was like, wait, they lost in a preseason game to the Cardinals by three points. What are we doing here?

Dak Prescott is probably going to miss the whole year with his shoulder injury

They can't show it [on Hard Knocks] because they don't want to tell us that [Dak Prescott's] shoulder's fucked up and he's probably going to miss the whole year.

Jerry Jones is the only person I've seen put on weight after the age of 75

Jerry is the only guy I think I've ever seen that's put on weight after the age of 75. Most people just start to wither away. He's just ballooning up.

The St. John's vs. Northern Iowa first-round matchup will be ugly as shit

You and I, they will suck the life of out of you. They've got the second best defense in the entire tournament. They, they are just kind of a pain in the ass to watch snails pace. This game feels like it's gonna be ugly as shit.

Betting Michigan State -16.5

I'm gonna go Michigan State minus 16 and a half.

Miami of Ohio can beat SMU in their play-in game

I actually think that, I don't know, I think they can beat SMU. I think that if there's one team that they could be an at large, I feel like they could beat... it feels like that's one, that's a winnable game.