Steve Ballmer is definitely the guy at a bachelor party who over-plans every single detail

Steve Ballmer is definitely the dude on a bachelor party who overplans every detail. It's like, alright, we're going to go fucking play some golf... 8 a.m. We're going to go to a nice, awesome lunch spot that I found. Then I rented a boat. Then we got a dinner. It's like, dude, we just want to fucking get drunk. Stop planning everything.

The NHL is partially responsible for Tom Wilson's behavior because they removed goons from the game

It's kind of, in a weird way, the NHL's fault for getting fighting and goons out of hockey because Tom Wilson is kind of the apex predator now. Like, if there were still goons, a goon would fuck Tom Wilson up, and it would be taken care of, and he wouldn't be doing this shit. He's a hybrid goon... he knows there's no real repercussions.

NHL players should be suspended for the same duration that the player they injured is sidelined

It does feel like an easy way to fix this in hockey is just you're suspended for as long as a guy's injured. Like, that's so easy.

High Point is a very, very good basketball team

I actually think that High Point is a very, very good team. It was no fluke. They're a very good team.

Never bet an under in a Hawaii game

If Jake's listening, do not bet on any under in a Hawaii game.

The St. John's vs. Northern Iowa first-round matchup will be ugly as shit

You and I, they will suck the life of out of you. They've got the second best defense in the entire tournament. They, they are just kind of a pain in the ass to watch snails pace. This game feels like it's gonna be ugly as shit.