Getting COVID is karma for not following through on my promise to inject myself if March Madness was canceled

If you remember, around this time last year... I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself... So I think that getting it is finally karma, and on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

Tom Brady's 'We Will Win' texts are the most confidence-inducing messages in the world

The story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team every night the week leading up to the Super Bowl just saying, we will win. And I have to imagine that's got to be – like in terms of text messages you can get, that has to be the single most confidence-inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life.

The only way to sustain Super Bowl runs in the NFL is to funnel money through a quarterback's side business

The only way you can do that [sustain Super Bowl runs] is if your star quarterback has an alleged money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the scenes that you can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that.

Nate Oats needs to teach his players to never let the police look through their phones

Let the Aden Holloway situation be a reminder to everybody that you don't have to let the police look through your phone. I actually point the finger at Nate Oats for this, because Nate Oats, you gotta do a better job of explaining the first through fifth amendments to your players. Given the history that you've had... day one you should have a, get the guys from Morgan & Morgan to come in and be like, 'Do not talk to the police if you're in trouble. Shut the fuck up.'

Mark Pope is on the hot seat at Kentucky after this tournament performance

Mark Pope on the hot seat. I think he is. I mean, I think they're gonna bring him back. I think he's safe for this year, but I think he's going into next year. Seat is warm.

Every major college coaching opening should start by calling Brad Stevens and making him say no

You gotta make him say no. You gotta call Brad Stevens and make him say no. I will personally never stop saying that. He probably wakes up every morning and says no. Voicemail just says, 'Thank you so much for the consideration, but it's gonna be a no.' It would be shocking if he ever took another college job.