Brooks Koepka, SB 55 Clean Up, Big Cat Has Covid & Rovell Vs PFT

Getting COVID is karma that ensures March Madness will happen this year

If you remember, around this time last year... I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself with coronavirus. So I think that getting it is finally karma, and on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

Tom Brady's 'We Will Win' texts are the most confidence-inducing messages in the world

The story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team every night the week leading up to the Super Bowl just saying, we will win. And I have to imagine that's got to be – like in terms of text messages you can get, that has to be the single most confidence-inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life.

The only way to sustain Super Bowl runs in the NFL is to funnel money through a quarterback's side business

The only way you can do that [sustain Super Bowl runs] is if your star quarterback has an alleged money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the scenes that you can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that.

Jose Canseco didn't have any power and essentially quit the fight

Once he punched me, I realized the fucking wizard behind the curtain was fucking just a man. I fucking went after him... He didn't give me... He quit. No, he quit.

I am 100% confident I could beat up Darren Rovell

Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Darren Rovell. If you were to ask me, name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up, it's Darren Rovell. I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Rovell's ass.

Darren Rovell should have to delete his Twitter account forever if I beat him in a fight

I will kick his ass. If he agrees to delete his Twitter account, I want to wipe them off the face of the internet. I feel like I am, I'm fighting for not just myself, but everybody that's had to wake up to Darren Rovell, tweeting out a video in 4k of JFK getting his skull blown off.

Darren Rovell is only challenging PFT to a fight for the engagement and would weasel out of a real match

My first thought when I saw him say he would fight for $2 million is that Darren Rovell would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight... And then as everyone called him a coward, he'd be like, whatever... I'm $2 million richer. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

NFL coaches should go for two points every single time

93% of extra points were made... 48% of two-point conversions were completed... realize that they should go for two every single time. But they won't do it... if you have a good offense, you should absolutely go for two points every single time.

The 90s starter jacket and script hat is the pinnacle of coach fashion

The absolute pinnacle of coach looks will forever be the nineties when it comes to the script hat and the starter jacket. That is the coolest that coaches will ever look in any sport ever... I miss those days. I wish guys would wear starter jackets again.

The eagle on the 17th hole at the Waste Management Open was 'stupid luck'

No, that was just dumb luck that it went in. That was just real dumb luck... I'll be honest with you, it shouldn't have gone [in]. That's just stupid luck, man.