PMT DB
PMT DB
Brooks Koepka on Waste Management Win, Big Cat’s COVID Diagnosis, and PFT vs. Rovell
We’ve officially moved into the Zoom era of the show for at least a week because Big Cat has the ‘rona. While it sucks to be stuck in a Manhattan hotel room eating Pirate’s Booty to test his sense of taste, Big Cat is looking at the bright side. It turns out this might just be the spiritual sacrifice needed to ensure we get a tournament in March.
Big CatGetting COVID is karma for not following through on my promise to inject myself if March Madness was canceled
If you remember, around this time last year... I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself... So I think that getting it is finally karma, and on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.
With the Super Bowl in the rearview mirror, we spent some time picking apart the Bucs' dominant win. Between Tom Brady sending late-night hype texts to his teammates and the realization that the Buccaneers basically built an All-Star team that just needed a few months to click, the dynasty talk is already shifting toward 2021. PFT is already looking at the AFC for the next challenger.
PFT CommenterPatrick Mahomes will probably win the Super Bowl next year
I think [Patrick Mahomes] is probably going to win a Super Bowl next year.
Speaking of the Bucs' victory, PFT floated a theory that New England fans might not want to hear regarding how certain legendary quarterbacks manage to stay under the salary cap while keeping elite talent around them.
PFT CommenterThe only way to sustain Super Bowl runs in the NFL is to funnel money through a quarterback's side business
The only way you can do that [sustain Super Bowl runs] is if your star quarterback has an alleged money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the scenes that you can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that.
Waste Management Winner Brooks Koepka
Our good friend Brooks Koepka joined the show fresh off a massive win at the Waste Management Open. He was admittedly a little hungover after celebrating with enough Michelob Ultras to fill a swimming pool, but he’s finally back in the winner's circle after a grueling recovery from knee surgery. He was refreshingly honest about his incredible eagle on 17 that sealed the tournament, admitting that sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.
Brooks KoepkaThe eagle on the 17th hole at the Waste Management Open was 'stupid luck'
No, that was just dumb luck that it went in. That was just real dumb luck... I'll be honest with you, it shouldn't have gone [in]. That's just stupid luck, man.
Brooks also touched on the Patrick Reed controversy from the week prior, noting that while Reed followed the rules once the official arrived, the ball bouncing into an embedded position on the high point of the course was... interesting. With his health back and his swing feeling dialed, Brooks is looking toward the 2021 majors with a lot of confidence.
Brooks KoepkaI have a good chance of winning a major in 2021
I think I got a good chance [to win a major]. I like, I feel good so yeah i'll be ready don't worry.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and Billy’s Victory Lap
Billy Football is still down in Florida riding the high of knocking out Jose Canseco. While the rest of the world thinks Jose took a dive, Billy is convinced his "wartime" mindset and high testosterone levels simply broke the MLB legend.
Billy FootballJose Canseco didn't have any power and essentially quit the fight
Once he punched me, I realized the fucking wizard behind the curtain was fucking just a man. I fucking went after him... He didn't give me... He quit. No, he quit.
On Hot Seat, PFT took aim at NFL coaches who still refuse to look at the numbers when it comes to the point after touchdown. The math says you should almost never kick, yet the league remains terrified of the two-point conversion.
PFT CommenterNFL coaches should go for two points every single time
93% of extra points were made... 48% of two-point conversions were completed... realize that they should go for two every single time. But they won't do it... if you have a good offense, you should absolutely go for two points every single time.
Big Cat put the 90s starter jacket on the Cool Throne, reminiscing about the days when Marty Schottenheimer and Buddy Ryan patrolled the sidelines looking like absolute legends in puffy gear and script hats.
Big CatThe 90s starter jacket and script hat is the pinnacle of coach fashion
The absolute pinnacle of coach looks will forever be the nineties when it comes to the script hat and the starter jacket. That is the coolest that coaches will ever look in any sport ever... I miss those days. I wish guys would wear starter jackets again.
The Rovell Challenge
To wrap up the show, we addressed the breaking news that Darren Rovell has officially challenged PFT to a Rough N' Rowdy fight, provided there is a $2 million guarantee. PFT isn't interested in the money; he’s interested in public service. He wants Rovell’s Twitter account deleted once and for all.
PFT CommenterI am 100% confident I could beat up Darren Rovell
Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Darren Rovell. If you were to ask me, name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up, it's Darren Rovell. I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Rovell's ass.
Big Cat is skeptical that the weasel-in-chief would ever actually stand and fight, predicting a lot of running and loophole-finding if the contract isn't ironclad.
Big CatDarren Rovell is only challenging PFT to a fight for the engagement and would weasel out of a real match
My first thought when I saw him say he would fight for $2 million is that Darren Rovell would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight... And then as everyone called him a coward, he'd be like, whatever... I'm $2 million richer. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
If this actually happens, it will be the most-watched event in the history of the internet just for the chance to see Rovell’s 4K JFK tweets disappear forever.
Wash your hands, wear a mask, and maybe don't drink with Billy Football if you want to avoid a quarantine.
