Getting COVID is karma for not following through on my promise to inject myself if March Madness was canceled

If you remember, around this time last year... I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself... So I think that getting it is finally karma, and on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

Tom Brady's 'We Will Win' texts are the most confidence-inducing messages in the world

The story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team every night the week leading up to the Super Bowl just saying, we will win. And I have to imagine that's got to be – like in terms of text messages you can get, that has to be the single most confidence-inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life.

The Bucs won the Super Bowl because they got hot at the right time in late December

A lot of times when it comes to the Superbowl, it is a lot about getting hot at the right time and playing your best football at the right time of year... Earlier in the year, the [Buccaneers] did look like a team that had a lot of issues and weren't on the same page. And if you get everything together come late December and you roll it into January, you can be the best team.

The 2026 World Cup final was boring and sucked.

It was boring ass soccer. It sucked. It made me thankful that the World Cup's over, that football's back. Now we can get back into real football, which I'm very, very thankful for. But that was actually, I think that was the best way to end the World Cup, because I'm totally fine with no more soccer now.

Fanatics Fest is a cynical place designed only to take money from fans.

It also seems like the most cynical place ever. Like, you can go to an autograph festival or a fan festival and you know that the guys are being paid to be there. And they're still like, happy to see, interact with you, all that shit. It just seems like every single thing about being at that place is just designed to take money from the people that are there.

Bryson DeChambeau is being targeted by selective rule enforcement.

I think that Bryson definitely did it and it's definitely against the rules. And he got caught for it and they enforced it against him because he's a bad boy. He's had some run-ins before. I don't think the R&A or whatever, I don't think they're particularly happy with Bryson right now.