Getting COVID is karma for not following through on my promise to inject myself if March Madness was canceled

If you remember, around this time last year... I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself... So I think that getting it is finally karma, and on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

Tom Brady's 'We Will Win' texts are the most confidence-inducing messages in the world

The story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team every night the week leading up to the Super Bowl just saying, we will win. And I have to imagine that's got to be – like in terms of text messages you can get, that has to be the single most confidence-inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life.

The only way to sustain Super Bowl runs in the NFL is to funnel money through a quarterback's side business

The only way you can do that [sustain Super Bowl runs] is if your star quarterback has an alleged money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the scenes that you can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that.

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in four games

Yeah. I mean it's, it is over Knicks in four. It's over.

Victor Wembanyama is a disappointment if he doesn't win seven championships

He has to win a minimum seven championships... has to. If he doesn't, disappointment.

Carlos Alcaraz and Jannik Sinner are going to have sex with each other because of their mutual respect

These guys are gonna fuck if they haven't fucked already. Holy shit. They're, they respect each other so much as competitors and as rivals, they're going to fuck each other. It's not even a question.