Xander Schauffele had a better year than Scottie Scheffler

Xander is now—I like, you can't say that Xander hasn't had a better [year]. I know Scotty has all these wins on the tour. Two majors to one. That's it. Xander had the better year.

Joe Biden's exit from the 2024 race is the political version of a coach being fired after making the tournament

The whole Biden thing. Is he—he now is just that coach who got fired at Long Beach State and then made the tournament. That's what's happening. He's going to ride it out. He's going to coach the bowl game.

Joe Biden's political situation is identical to a backup quarterback entering a game

It is kind of like the backup quarterback situation. Kamala, are you really ready to see Trevor Siemian start? Let's go until he steps up and then throws three picks in the first half and you're like, 'fuck, I kind of miss Zach Wilson.'

Adding UConn to the Big 12 would make it the greatest college basketball conference ever

The UConn Huskies are seems like they're trying to get into the Big 12... it also would make the Big 12 the greatest college basketball conference of all time. because it would, now you'd have Kansas, you'd have UConn, you'd have Arizona, like Cincinnati. It'd be just crazy college basketball.

Hassan Reddick will eventually report to the Jets because of Matthew Judon's contract situation

Positive. He's [Hassan Reddick] gonna come. No, he's gonna come. He'll get hard. He'll come... Matthew Judon is helping him come. He said today he that he wants to show off for the Falcons so he could earn his contract. Hassan Reddick just needs to show up and he'll get that contract.

Dricus du Plessis is waking up from the dead and has the world in front of him after beating Israel Adesanya

My cool throne is Dricus du Plessis winning a fight. Coming back out of nowhere. Coming, waking up from the dead... now he's got the world in front of him.