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Big CatBig Cat

There is an 85% chance you will end up married to your ex if you go to a concert with them.

I've watched enough romcoms and gotten all my relationship advice from Judd app house, if you go to this concert, there's like a, I'd say 85% chance you guys get married. So that's just, what's gonna happen. You're gonna rekindle in the backdrop of a beautiful concert and boom, you're married. Maybe even have a kid.

The 85% figure is completely made up for comedic effect.

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Open
Sep 14, 2022
#9302
Big CatBig Cat

Seahawks fans will eventually cheer Russell Wilson in a few years once the rawness of his departure fades

I think if this game took place at any point, other than this year and especially week one, it might be a little different. So if Russell Wilson plays for eight more years and he comes back to Seattle at the end of his career, I think they will cheer him. I think it's just so raw... The rawness of it, the fact that it was week one, I think that if it happens... eight years from now or say, let's even say Russ goes somewhere else... I think they might be a little bit more receptive to 'em and be like, Hey, that was cool when you won us a Super Bowl.

This is still pending as Wilson hasn't reached the 'ceremonial return' phase of his career yet.
Win
Sep 14, 2022
#9300
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Russell Wilson's former Seahawks teammates are relieved he is gone because he was annoying to be around

I've gotta take about the Seahawks. It's about the players themselves. Not having Russ Wilson around anymore. I think they're kind of relieved. Oh dude. I think that it's like a weight off their shoulders. Not having to worry about like plugging Russ in, in the locker room, making sure that his software's up to date... He made the team competitive for 10 years. And to a certain extent, you have to pretend to like a guy like that when he's in the locker room... once a guy like that leaves the weight off your shoulders is just enormous. Now you're like, oh shit, Geno Smith is a normal person.

Subsequent reporting from Seattle and Denver confirmed that many teammates found Wilson's 'brand-first' personality difficult to deal with.
Win
Sep 14, 2022
#9304
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nathaniel Hackett's end-of-game failure happened because he has never played Madden

This is just a rookie head coach doing rookie head coach, I think. And if he'd played enough Madden in the past, he would understand exactly how to handle that end of game situation. This is a problem with too many, too many teams are hiring offensive defensive coordinators that have spent their lives on the sidelines... but have never picked up a fucking controller in their lives and played Madden. Right. If they play Madden, they know exactly how to handle the end of game experience.

While satirical, the consensus was that Hackett's clock management was objectively poor, a hallmark of his short tenure.

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Loss
Big CatBig Cat

Miami of Ohio 100% deserves to be in the NCAA Tournament despite their first-round loss

I think a hundred percent they should be in. We need to just focus on the fact that there, I believe 31 and one and not do anything about strength of schedule. If you're able to go an entire season without losing a game that's hard to just wake up every day and not stumble once. I wanna see what happens when they play their first quad win one game in the middle of March.

This is part of the satirical 'Future' bit; Miami of Ohio was not 31-1 in 2026 (or 2024).
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Big CatBig Cat

Conference tournaments are bad for top teams because they don't improve your seeding and lead to unnecessary fatigue

I'm kind of done with the conference tournaments. Like they just fuck you. It doesn't make your seed better and you end up being more tired today. If you have to play four games, you're just gonna get screwed.

The value of conference tournaments for high-seeded teams is a perennial debate in sports media.
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

Kyler Murray will be the next Sam Darnold now that he's with the Vikings

Kyler Murray is a Viking. We all kind of expected it. It happened. He's going to be the next Sam Darnold. The NFC North now has three number one picks at quarterback with Kyler Murray, Caleb Williams, Jared Goff. Kind of cool.

Kyler Murray did not sign with the Vikings; this is part of the episode bit.

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