Trevor Lawrence is the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances

Trevor Lawrence is actually the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances, given the fact that his coach [Urban Meyer] is the horniest guy in the world, the team stinks... he's providing a steady hand and he's guiding this franchise during a tumultuous time.

Tua Tagovailoa is a 'wait and see' guy who will ruin your franchise

When you have a guy that is a wait and see guy, those are the worst guys. Those are the guys that like 10 years from now, 15 years from now, you look back and you're like, well, we really wasted three years... the wait and see guys, they will ruin your franchise because you're like, I think this guy can be good if we just get stability around him.

You cannot trust a left-handed quarterback

I do think when you're a wait and see guy and your guy that might not be very good is also a lefty... I don't know, I really do think lefties, I think we've heard players say that it's weird, it's different catching a ball from a lefty... I've just always thought lefties are weird.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?