The Dodgers are a weaker team than the Nationals

The Dodgers are coming to Wrigley Field. I do think the Dodgers are a weaker of the two teams. Slash, I didn't want to see Daniel Murphy again.

I want the Cubs to keep winning just to keep Big Cat in a state of 'happiness edging' without winning the World Series

I want the Cubs to keep winning. I don't want the Cubs to win the World Series, but it's not because I want to see you in pain. I like it when you're this happy. I just want it to keep extending and extending. But I just don't want to see you ever reach that goal. You need to edge for about nine more months until spring training.

Mike McCoy is the most generic-looking white dude who probably goes to Jimmy Buffett concerts

Mike McCoy is the most generic-ass looking white dude. He's a guy that your dad plays golf with... McCoy just looks like a guy that spends too much time in the sun and has eight Salt Life shirts and goes to a Jimmy Buffett concert every fall, and that's his one vacation for the kids.

College basketball has five absolutely dominant teams this year

We have five, you could even maybe go to six, just absolutely dominant teams. Michigan, UConn, Duke, Arizona, and Florida that are playing at such an insane level.

Florida can win the national championship because they can shoot threes now

Florida though, I've been talking about Florida for three weeks. They could shoot threes now. They absolutely kicked [Arkansas's]... They just throttle teams. All four of [Duke, Michigan, Arizona, Florida] would be the best team in the previous five years.

Miami of Ohio will make the tournament even if they lose in the conference tournament

I'm saying right now, winning every... If they go undefeated in the conference, that is so hard to do. I think if they go undefeated in the conference and then lose in the conference tournament, I think they will be in.