Cam Newton will sign with the New England Patriots

Patriots number one. I'd still like to see him [in] Chicago, but Patriots number one.

Jon Gruden will want to sign Cam Newton because he falls in love with every QB he broadcasts

That's a big time Jon Gruden move. I could see Gruden going after [Cam Newton] because Gruden probably fell in love with Cam Newton watching him in the booth on Monday Night Football. That's what Gruden does is if he broadcasts a couple of your games where you play well, he's just like he instantly will fall in love with you.

John Elway only signs quarterbacks he would want his daughter to marry

John Elway tends to like guys that are like coaches' sons... John Elway tends to like guys that he would set up to marry his daughter. John Elway is the kind of guy that he likes a quarterback that walks in the door and you're like, oh that guy he is a coach on the field.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?