Aaron Rodgers is a bitch for how he's handling his decision

Aaron Rodgers is being a fucking bitch. He is being a real bitch. This is like vindication for me where everyone has slowly been like, dude, just make a decision. This is annoying. You're holding everyone else up.

Sam Darnold going to the 49ers means Tom Brady is not going there

I think the fact that they signed Sam Darnold means that we can probably take Tom Brady out of the question of if he's going to the 49ers.

Taylor Heinicke will beat out Desmond Ridder for the Falcons starting job

My prediction is that he's going to be the starting quarterback next year. I think he's going to beat out Desmond Ridder in camp. That's just what Taylor Heinicke does.

AJ Brown will only be traded for a first-round pick starting price

The price is the price. It starts with a first-round pick. If the Patriots want him, it's a 2027 first-round pick, not 2026, because their first-round pick this year is basically a second-round pick.

Fettuccine Alfredo is fake Italian food.

Alfredo's not real Italian. There's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine. Alfredo's fake Italian. He [Rick Pitino] would maybe do a lemon chicken, maybe do a lemon chicken Piccata. But Alfredo... Cacho e pepe, that's Italian. But there's no heavy cream in Italian cuisine.

The Sixers are a bad team that loses every game Joel Embiid doesn't play

The Sixers suck. The Sixers are a bad team. Embiid's not playing. They lose—the Sixers are back to losing every game that Embiid doesn't play.