The anxiety of betting on March Madness is crippling.

I hate March Madness... because the anxiety of betting is crippling. I love it because it's an excuse to sit and watch basketball for 24 hours in four days span.

Loyola Chicago is a team of destiny in the NCAA Tournament.

Are we willing to call [Loyola Chicago] our team of destiny yet? Because I'm inching them towards that spot.

The 2018 NCAA Tournament has the worst hair in tournament history.

I'd like to just say this might be the worst hair that I've ever seen in the NCAA tournament all around. It used to be bad tattoos. Now it's bad hair.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.