The Ravens will be the AFC's number one seed and the Super Bowl will go through Baltimore.

But as of right now, if the playoffs started today, the Ravens would be the one seed and the Super Bowl would go through Baltimore.

Tom Brady looked 'dead' and scared against the Texans.

Tom Brady looked kind of dead tonight. He looked like he was the one seeing ghosts. He was very scared of the Texans' SWAT team linebackers.

The Jets losing to the winless Bengals is a classic 'so Jets' moment.

That was so Jets. That was so, so Jets. ... to have a quarterback who seems like the guy say, we're going to run the table... then go to Cincinnati, an 0-11 team, and score six points and just piss down their leg. I'm sorry, Jets fans. That is so Jets.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.