PMT DB
PMT DB
NFL Week 13 Recap: Nick Foles’ Weird Career and the Patriots Panic Button
We just survived five straight days of football, and your brain might be leaking, but that’s just the price of admission for feast week. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are back to break down a Sunday slate that featured a snowy Meadowlands, the Bengals finally entering the win column, and the NFC East continuing its quest to be the worst collection of professional athletes ever assembled.
The AFC Hierarchy Shakes Up
Sunday Night Football gave us a "flu game" for the ages, except instead of Michael Jordan, it was nine Patriots players and a very dehydrated-looking Steve Belichick on a secondary plane. The Texans finally got their signature primetime win, and Deshaun Watson looked electric while Tom Brady looked every bit of his age against a Houston defense that dressed up like a SWAT team.
PFT CommenterTom Brady looked 'dead' and scared against the Texans.
Tom Brady looked kind of dead tonight. He looked like he was the one seeing ghosts. He was very scared of the Texans' SWAT team linebackers.
Hank has officially retrieved the Patriots panic button from the backyard. While they’re still 10-2, the road to the Super Bowl no longer feels like a foregone conclusion through Foxborough, especially with the way Lamar Jackson is playing.
Big CatThe Ravens will be the AFC's number one seed and the Super Bowl will go through Baltimore.
But as of right now, if the playoffs started today, the Ravens would be the one seed and the Super Bowl would go through Baltimore.
Speaking of the Ravens, they gutted out an ugly, rainy win against the 49ers thanks to the leg of Justin Tucker. At this point, Tucker isn't just a kicker; he's a weapon that completely alters how John Harbaugh manages the end of games. He’s hit 38 straight fourth-quarter field goals, making him perhaps the most valuable non-quarterback in the league.
Big CatJustin Tucker is worth a first-round pick in a trade.
How much do you think Justin Tucker is worth if you were trying to trade him? ... His value as a kicker is so off the charts. ... And he's worth like he his value is that of a position player in my mind.
Beyond his leg, the Ravens are winning because Lamar Jackson is a human cheat code. PFT even thinks Lamar’s unique voice might lead to a second career once he’s done breaking ankles on the turf.
PFT CommenterLamar Jackson has a future as a smooth, gravelly singer.
I don't know if you've noticed this, but Lamar Jackson has such a smooth, unusual voice. I want to hear how he sounds when he tries to sing. I think he could have a nice sleepy brown type gravelly sound to his voice.
The Weird, the Bad, and the "So Jets"
The Cincinnati Bengals are no longer winless, and they have the New York Jets to thank for it. In a season where Sam Darnold looked like he was turning a corner, the Jets went to Cincy and put up a staggering six points. It was a performance so inept that it could only be described one way.
Big CatThe Jets losing to the winless Bengals is a classic 'so Jets' moment.
That was so Jets. That was so, so Jets. ... to have a quarterback who seems like the guy say, we're going to run the table... then go to Cincinnati, an 0-11 team, and score six points and just piss down their leg. I'm sorry, Jets fans. That is so Jets.
In Jacksonville, the Nick Foles era might have ended before it truly began. Foles was benched for Gardner Minshew after three turnovers on three possessions, adding another chapter to what is objectively the strangest career path in NFL history. He’s a Super Bowl MVP with a statue in Philly who somehow keeps losing his job to guys like Mark Sanchez and Case Keenum.
Big CatNick Foles is an average-to-below-average quarterback who stinks despite his Super Bowl win.
If you took out his 27 touchdown, two interception year, he's played 44 games. He's had 44 touchdowns and 32 interceptions. He stinks. ... He is completely average to below average at his profession, but he has reached moments where he has been exceptional.
Down in the AFC South, the Titans have transformed into a Derrick Henry appreciation podcast. Henry is averaging nearly six yards per carry now that the calendar has turned to late November, and Ryan Tannehill actually looks like a functional NFL starter.
Big CatDerrick Henry has officially entered the conversation as one of the NFL's top running backs.
This is now a Derrick Henry appreciation podcast. ... Essentially, we get to November and December and people are like, I don't want to tackle that guy anymore. He had 149 yards today, and then in his last 16 games... 1,700 yards, 18 rushing touchdowns. Doesn't get talked about as one of the top backs, but he's up there now.
PFT CommenterThe Tennessee Titans are capable of winning a playoff game.
I think the Titans might win a playoff game. They're real motherfuckers to play against. They are.
The Dumpster Fire Divisions
The NFC East is a war of attrition where the prize is a home playoff game nobody wants. The Eagles losing to the Dolphins despite a punter-to-kicker touchdown pass was the low point of the weekend, leading PFT to suggest a radical change to the postseason format.
PFT CommenterThe NFL should revoke the home playoff game for the winner of the NFC East.
Take away a playoff game. Take away the home playoff game from the team that wins the NFC East. They don't deserve it.
Meanwhile, the Giants are leaning into the "historically young" excuse as Pat Shurmur enters the dead man walking phase of his coaching tenure. Daniel Jones continues to turn the ball over at an alarming rate, and the G-Men look like a team waiting for the sweet release of Black Monday.
Big CatDaniel Jones stinks and Pat Shurmur is a 'dead man walking'.
Daniel Jones stinks and Pat Shurmur is a dead man walking. Pat Shurmur, update on where Pat Shurmur is with the entire New York Giants organization. He is at the level where he's talking about how they're historically young team. So that is the last bargaining level of a coach about to get fired.
On the other side of the coaching spectrum, Mike Tomlin is doing his best work with a third-string quarterback named Duck who spends his off-days hunting with wide receivers. Tomlin has managed to keep the Steelers in the hunt despite losing his franchise QB and dealing with the Antonio Brown fallout.
Big CatMike Tomlin is the NFL Coach of the Year for 2019 because he managed the Steelers circus for years without people knowing.
I'm saying Mike Tomlin's the coach of the year. Because what the Steelers—and we have made fun of Mike Tomlin a lot on this podcast. So I think it's only fair to say when he's doing a great job. ... He actually knew better than anybody else where that locker room was the entire time. ... [PFT]: I would like to go back and retroactively award Coach of the Year to Mike Tomlin for the job that he did last year and the year before, keeping Le'Veon Bell and Antonio Brown somewhat coherently together.
Rivalry Week Heartbreak
College Football Rivalry Week brought the usual dose of sadness for Jim Harbaugh. Michigan looked like they belonged on the same field as Ohio State for about a quarter before the talent gap became an abyss. Big Cat is starting to accept that the Michigan "elite" status is more of a branding exercise than a reality.
Big CatMichigan football is a myth that is not on the same level as Ohio State or Alabama.
I'm actually kind of agree just because the Michigan myth is one of the greatest myths going in all of college sports. They have won half a national title in the last 60 years. And they make you think that they matter and that they're on the level of Alabama and USC and Ohio State and Clemson even now. ... realistic Michigan fans probably were like... We aren't going to get better.
In the Iron Bowl, Nick Saban was left complaining about unfair play clocks while his kickers continued their long-standing tradition of hitting the uprights when it matters most. For the first time ever, the playoff will happen without the Crimson Tide.
Big CatAlabama's dynasty is showing signs of decline because they lack discipline and a kicker.
This is the first time since the college football playoff was invented that they won't be a part of it. ... Saban crying about unfair play. ... Is Alabama's dynasty over? Because they're like uncharacteristically out. ... They never have a good kicker and their defense was abysmal.
We're heading into a massive week with a huge secret guest on the horizon, so stay frosty and try not to be the drunkest person at your office holiday party.
