You only learn a commissioner's name if they have fucked up

If you learn a commissioner's name it's because they fucked up at some point. It's like learning the name of an offensive lineman or a referee in football.

Buy all your Dayton stock because they have been unbelievable this season

College basketball obviously has been awesome. Dayton, by the way, buy all your Dayton stock because they have been unbelievable. They have like a weird fanbase... but here's me saying something nice about Dayton. Buy all your stock.

The Bengals ownership does not care about winning a Super Bowl

The Bengals—people forget Carson Palmer was ready to retire from the Cincinnati Bengals instead of playing for them. This is a franchise that is not committed to winning. Their ownership does not care about winning a Super Bowl; they just want to be NFL owners, sell some tickets, and maybe go to the playoffs every couple of years.

The Lions will win the NFC North

I think they're gonna be really good. Are the Lions on Crosby watch? ... I think them and maybe the Cowboys might be on Crosby watch. ... I think they probably will win the NFC North.

The Bears could have a top-five offense even if they miss the playoffs

There's a world where the Bears don't make the playoffs, but they're a top-five offense. And our defense is so bad that I can almost—I would be very upset, but I could deal with it.

The Jaguars could win the AFC South

I think the Jaguars are not getting any respect or talked about a lot. I think they're gonna be really good this year. They could win the South. I think Trevor Lawrence is gonna keep going forward.