Tom Brady leaving the Patriots is heartbreaking but I am mostly reminiscing about the championships

It was heartbreaking but it was more of like I kind of agree with reminisced. I was reminiscing More than I was crying in my Cheerios. . . You can never take away like the six championships.

Tom Brady will lead the Buccaneers to a Super Bowl in their own stadium in his first season

How about this Hank: Tom Brady makes a Super Bowl next year with the Buccaneers in their stadium in Tampa. They play against the Patriots—who are you rooting for?

The Chargers should have offered Tom Brady team equity to spite the NFL owners for blocking their Vegas bid

The Los Angeles Chargers... could have pulled an all-time fuck you move to the owners. . . If the Chargers had offered Brady equity in the football team after his retirement—cause I don't think that they can give it to him as he's playing—every owner in the NFL would've been so pissed off about that and it would have been the perfect opportunity for some real vengeance.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.