DeMar DeRozan is the 'working man's Steph Curry'

DeMar DeRozan is the working man Steph Curry. [He does it] old fashioned [with twos not threes].

Baseball players are secretly happy when they get snubbed from the All-Star game

If I'm a baseball player and I get snubbed for the All-Star game, I'm secretly excited about it because at least you get to go have like three days where you don't have to work.

Pete Alonso is the biggest loser in sports when the Home Run Derby comes around

Pete Alonso with the home run Derby is the worst. He is the biggest loser in sports when the Home Run Derby comes around. ... He, dude, he gets laser focused.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.