Jajuan Howard is the new Coach Calipari because he underachieves despite producing lottery picks

Jajuan Howard's the new coach Cal, that is what made me feel really, really old was Jajuan Howard has a son that just got drafted in the NBA... you see a loaded team [Michigan] get picked and you're like, wait, they weren't in the tournament. That's weird.

Jaime Jaquez Jr. is the perfect fit for the Heat culture

Jaime Jaquez to the Heat, like perfect Heat culture. He's going to have a series probably next NBA playoffs where he somehow averages like 25 points a game out of nowhere... he is the perfect Heat culture guy and he will be a very good player in the NBA because he got drafted by the Heat.

Brandon Miller is a genius for claiming Paul George is his GOAT so he wouldn't offend Michael Jordan

I think Brandon Miller is kind of a genius. They interviewed him the other day and he said that his GOAT, his favorite player in NBA history is Paul George. That to me tells me he's thinking two steps ahead because he knew that Charlotte wanted to draft him... He knew that he could not say that it was LeBron James because Michael Jordan is still very much involved in the draft process for Charlotte.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.