The Falcons lead the league in fucking up in the red zone

The Falcons lead the league, and this is a stat I haven't looked up, but I'm just going to say it, lead the league in fucking up in the red zone. Every single Falcons game comes down to them fucking up in the red zone.

I'm considering putting the 'Dunn' chain on the Carolina Panthers

I'm considering putting the Dunn chain on the Panthers. They don't have anywhere to go without Cam Newton.

Bengals coach Zach Taylor has a sketchy vibe and doesn't pop on the sidelines

[Zach Taylor] is a tough guy to vibe out on because he looks like an assistant coach on the sidelines... I would go as far as to say he's got a sketchy vibe because you just don't know what he's doing. He shows up at a party and all your friends that are girls look at each other with side glances.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.