Hard Knocks stinks
Hard Knocks stinks. There's nothing that can turn around a bad episode of Hard Knocks like watching it with a cool dog... The ending was, I had to like check myself because they had the dramatic rainstorm and Liev Schreiber was doing some unbelievable speech, and then I was like, wait, they lost in a preseason game to the Cardinals by three points. What are we doing here?
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View episodeDak Prescott is probably going to miss the whole year with his shoulder injury
They can't show it [on Hard Knocks] because they don't want to tell us that [Dak Prescott's] shoulder's fucked up and he's probably going to miss the whole year.
Jerry Jones is the only person I've seen put on weight after the age of 75
Jerry is the only guy I think I've ever seen that's put on weight after the age of 75. Most people just start to wither away. He's just ballooning up.
Rex Ryan ruined Hard Knocks because everyone tries to replicate his performance
I actually think that we need a think piece, an oral history of Hard Knocks, how Rex Ryan ruined Hard Knocks. Because everyone after Rex is trying to have a moment like Rex, and you'll never have that moment again.
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View profilePigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash
Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.
Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear
I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.
American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors
I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.