I used to think my testicles were made of Play-Doh and that eating actual Play-Doh would make them grow bigger
I thought my balls, my testicles were Play-Doh. So when my parents told me don't eat Play-Doh, I thought they were trying to be like, Hey don't eat Play-Doh because your balls will just get bigger because it will just go right to your balls... You just don't know what they are when you're a little kid and you start touching 'em, you're like, this is weird. I'm like, oh, it must be Play-Doh.
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View episodeIt is unpatriotic to take the under on the NFL Hall of Fame game
So great to hear the music. So great to bet the over, which I'm probably gonna lose, but I'm gonna take it anyways because it's unpatriotic to take the under on the Hall of Fame game.
Roger Goodell's push for guardian caps is a calculated move to blame players for safety issues later when the league pushes for a 19-game season
I think Roger Goodell was like, tell you what, in the effort of player safety, I will allow you to wear a giant helmet that makes you look like a clown. And no one's gonna do it. And then Roger Goodell could be like, oh, I gave them the option of wearing the big red clown nose on their face. But they chose not to do it. I guess they don't care about player safety. Let's do 19 games.
Jordan Love deserves every dollar of the massive contract extension he received from the Packers
Jordan Love got paid and he made a lot of money and Tua got paid. He made a lot of money... [Jordan Love] deserves every dollar that he got.
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View profileThe goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible
What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.
The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer
People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.
We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay
My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.