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Void
Mar 9, 2016·Spin Zone
#22583
Big CatBig Cat

Johnny Manziel's drug power rankings are: Meth #1, Cocaine #2, Weed #3, and Alcohol in the basement.

Take it back meth Johnny Manziel number one cocaine Johnny Manziel number two and then weed Johnny Manziel number three a distant third and and we all can agree power ranking wise alcoholic Johnny Manziel's in the basement it's dead last.

Satirical ranking that cannot be verified.

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Win
Mar 9, 2016
#9744
Big CatBig Cat

The Jaguars will sign a big free agent like Chris Ivory, cut him in two years because he didn't work out, and keep sucking.

The Jaguars have a ton of money, and everyone's going to say, wow, the Jaguars are going to make a big splash. Like, you know, like signing Chris Ivory in two years, they're going to cut him because he's like, he didn't work out and they're going to bring in a new coach and the Jaguars are going to keep sucking and it's going to be beautiful.

In March 2016, the Jaguars signed Chris Ivory to a 5-year, $32 million deal. He was released in February 2018 (exactly two years later) after failing to meet expectations. Coach Gus Bradley was also fired within that window.
Void
Mar 9, 2016
#9745
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I have zero confidence that any running back free agent signing by any team is going to play out

I have zero confidence that any running back free agent signing by any team is going to play out. But the Jaguars keep going back to that.

This is a general philosophy rather than a single testable event, but looking at 2016 RB signings (Ivory, Lamar Miller, DeMarco Murray), few provided long-term value.
Push
Mar 9, 2016
#9746
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Raiders will get good and then immediately move to L.A., totally screwing over the city of Oakland.

I think what's what's going to happen is you're going to see the Raiders get really good... or start to get good and then move to L.A. right as they get good and totally screw over the city of Oakland.

The Raiders did leave Oakland, but they moved to Las Vegas in 2020. They also had a 12-4 season in 2016 (getting 'good' as predicted) before the move was finalized.

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Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31806
Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem

I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.

Whether Minnesota had a significant Kyler Murray problem is an evaluative football judgment rather than a definitively resolvable fact.
Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31793
Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins

What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.

Whether Kirk Cousins was traded to Minnesota during the 2026 season is not established by the transcript or reliably known here.
Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31794
Big CatBig Cat

Jalen Warren is a top-five running back

Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.

Top-five running back status is ultimately a subjective ranking that cannot be definitively resolved.