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Void
Mar 9, 2016·Spin Zone
#22583
Big CatBig Cat

Johnny Manziel's drug power rankings are: Meth #1, Cocaine #2, Weed #3, and Alcohol in the basement.

Take it back meth Johnny Manziel number one cocaine Johnny Manziel number two and then weed Johnny Manziel number three a distant third and and we all can agree power ranking wise alcoholic Johnny Manziel's in the basement it's dead last.

Satirical ranking that cannot be verified.

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Win
Mar 9, 2016
#9744
Big CatBig Cat

The Jaguars will sign a big free agent like Chris Ivory, cut him in two years because he didn't work out, and keep sucking.

The Jaguars have a ton of money, and everyone's going to say, wow, the Jaguars are going to make a big splash. Like, you know, like signing Chris Ivory in two years, they're going to cut him because he's like, he didn't work out and they're going to bring in a new coach and the Jaguars are going to keep sucking and it's going to be beautiful.

In March 2016, the Jaguars signed Chris Ivory to a 5-year, $32 million deal. He was released in February 2018 (exactly two years later) after failing to meet expectations. Coach Gus Bradley was also fired within that window.
Void
Mar 9, 2016
#9745
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I have zero confidence that any running back free agent signing by any team is going to play out

I have zero confidence that any running back free agent signing by any team is going to play out. But the Jaguars keep going back to that.

This is a general philosophy rather than a single testable event, but looking at 2016 RB signings (Ivory, Lamar Miller, DeMarco Murray), few provided long-term value.
Push
Mar 9, 2016
#9746
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Raiders will get good and then immediately move to L.A., totally screwing over the city of Oakland.

I think what's what's going to happen is you're going to see the Raiders get really good... or start to get good and then move to L.A. right as they get good and totally screw over the city of Oakland.

The Raiders did leave Oakland, but they moved to Las Vegas in 2020. They also had a 12-4 season in 2016 (getting 'good' as predicted) before the move was finalized.

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Open
Sep 16, 2026
#31415
Big CatBig Cat

The Chargers' game against the Raiders is a must-win

The Chargers might have the most must-win game of all time playing the Raiders with the schedule they have. If they don't win this week, it's over.

The Chargers' season outcome and whether the loss effectively ended their season had not been resolved at the time of the episode.
Void
Sep 16, 2026
#31416
Big CatBig Cat

Texas won; Ohio State choked

I'll say Texas win, Ryan Day choke. The play calling, I don't know, maybe they got too conservative. I think they probably did.

This is a retrospective interpretation of the game rather than a purely objective claim; assigning primary blame is subjective.
Open
Sep 16, 2026
#31427
Big CatBig Cat

Oregon is probably out if it loses to USC

The USC game will be massive. If Oregon loses that game, they're probably out.

Oregon's playoff status after the USC game was still unresolved at the time of the episode.