Jeff Green is a bad basketball player despite his good performances against the Raptors

Jeff Green stinks. I thought he was dead. Jeff Green's been on a million NBA teams and he stinks everywhere he goes, and somehow he is lighting up the Raptors.

LeBron James literally owns the entire 'state' of Canada and the city of Toronto

LeBron owns them. He literally owns the entire state of Canada and the city of Toronto.

The Indiana Pacers were the toughest competition for the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference

What if the Indiana Pacers were the toughest competition for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the East? I'm just saying. You can now say that.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.