The NBA is officially the emo league

I'd like to just say I'm done with the word petty to describe the NBA. We passed petty like a year and a half ago. I think emo is now the correct answer.

Josh Gordon won't be as good as before because he's sober

[Josh Gordon] got reinstated, but it came out that he admitted that he used drugs or alcohol before every single game he's ever played. So he's going to have to come back and not use drugs or alcohol, and he's not going to be that good.

Twitter's move to 280 characters makes the platform the worst

My hot seat is Twitter, because they have officially made everyone have 280 characters, and it's the worst... I had 280 characters before anyone else, not to brag, but I said to both of you that it's the worst because I get tired even writing 280 characters, let alone reading it. So fuck Twitter for doing that.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.