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Big CatBig Cat

Russell Wilson is so coachable he probably invites his trainer to the bedroom to spot him

I actually think that Russell Wilson probably cares so much about doing a good job that he would invite his trainer to help him with—watch him fuck. ... No, his—he's fucking, he's got his trainer moving the hips for spotting. Here you go to beat the glutes, activate the glutes, let your cheeks free... too much tension in the cheeks, Russ.

Subjective comedic characterization.

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Void
Aug 5, 2022
#23209
Big CatBig Cat

I'm officially done with the preseason after one quarter of the Hall of Fame game

Every Hall of Fame game's the exact same. Seeing the helmets is great. Seeing the field is great. And then you're just like, okay, this kind of sucks. I want the real football. ... As soon as the first quarter of the first preseason game is over, I'm like just fucking get over with the preseason. I'm done with the preseason. Get me to the regular season.

Subjective expression of personal interest level.
Win
Aug 5, 2022
#12147
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I still believe in Kyle Sloter as the preseason quarterback of all time

Kyle Sloter, who right now is beating the Raiders three to nothing... He stinks? He's preseason quarterback of all time. The fourth quarter too. There's still the fourth quarter Kyle Sloter. I still believe in him. If you've watched him play, you should believe too.

Kyle Sloter did have a legendary preseason career stats-wise, though he never transitioned to regular-season success.
Void
Aug 5, 2022·Null
#12149
Jake MarshJake Marsh

Vin Scully is the best play-by-play broadcaster of all time

Yeah, no, definitely. He is the best play-by-play broadcaster of all time. He has moments that you could put in a dictionary. Like you could fill a dictionary with just thousands of pages... If I could have 1% of the success that he had, that would be a successful career. He is the best ever.

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Big CatBig Cat

The 2026 Thanksgiving Day schedule is the best single day of football ever

Wednesday night is the Packers versus the Rams. Then Thursday, Thanksgiving day is Bears, lions, Eagles, Cowboys, chiefs bills. That will be great. Like the day of Thanksgiving? Yeah. That's the best day of football I think maybe ever.

Whether it's the 'best day ever' is a matter of personal opinion and game quality.
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

Congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche on winning the Stanley Cup. I'd like to say congratulations to the [Avs]. Pretty good bet to the [Avs]. Pretty good it's a pretty good bet if you, if you're a betting man, which I am. Congrats to the [Avs].

The Avalanche were eliminated in the second round by the Stars in 2026.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Pittsburgh fleeced Boston in the gorilla trade

I think Boston got fleeced. Frankie got traded, 7-year-old. Frankie got traded to the Boston Zoo. He's going to just be chilling with a bunch of other dudes. Little Joe got traded to Pittsburgh because he's going to be mating and making new gorilla. Pittsburgh's the one that's gonna be making more gorillas. You guys are do everything all wrong. They're, they're making a gorilla factory in Pittsburgh.

Evaluating zoo conservation efforts through the lens of a sports trade is inherently comedic and subjective.