I would have 'Pete Rose'd' the hot dog contest and thrown it if I could have bet on my own under in Las Vegas

I actually made some texts. I was hoping that somehow it ended up on a real sports book in Vegas. We could have put some real money down, and I would have Pete Rose the hell out of that tournament. But alas, you could only win about like 200 bucks on prop bets. So I had to give it my all.

I will never compete in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest again

I've survived to tell my tale. I'll never do it again. But it was a great experience to have.

Kevin Durant might not improve the Warriors because there are too many cooks in the kitchen

I'm actually going to go out on a limb and say that Kevin Durant might not really improve the Warriors that much. Yeah, he's a really good player... You got a lot of cooks in the kitchen now. You need some role players.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.