Getting your wife pregnant is the secret to winning golf tournaments

If you want to win a golf tournament, you have to get your wife pregnant. And then sure enough, either right after you give birth or right after you conceive, you will get an interview right after you win something and you'll announce it.

A baseball player must reach 2,000 hits to be considered elite

I think most real seam heads would say like 2000 hits. If you get to 2000 hits, you're probably elite. ... if you get to 2000, that's the big number in baseball. Everyone talks about you gotta get to 2000 hits.

Bryce Harper will return to being a beast this season after disrespect from his GM

Bryce Harper's been nothing but good. And Dave Dombrowski disrespecting him like that. Bryce has every right to be upset about that. ... I think he's gonna be a beast this year. He's gonna return to being a beast.

The intentional-grounding penalty was the right play

I actually think he had, that's an OC problem because there was no underneath route. If he throws that deep and, like, everyone had—it just was a shit show. He couldn't throw it deep because he was basically getting chased. If he takes a sack, everyone has to come back. It probably is more than 10 seconds to get the next play. So that one, I had no problem.

The Colts needed a complete reset after Chris Ballard's firing

Chris Ballard was there for 10 years, never won an AFC South. You finally just—it's inexcusable. The Andrew Luck retirement is probably what bought Chris Ballard a lot more years. He basically could just keep on saying, 'Well, our plans were screwed up because Andrew Luck retired.'

The NBA should start on Christmas Day and play 60 games

The NBA should start on Christmas day. It should be a 60-game schedule. It'd be so much better.