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The Raptors are so inside their own head that they have to treat Game 1 like a Game 7

The Raptors are so inside their own head that they start the playoffs with a game seven. Just trying to win a fucking home game. You're kind of blowing your load when it's game one... you're the one seed and you're treating it like a game seven.

The Raptors did actually make it to the second round in 2018, but were eventually swept by the Cavs, proving their mental hurdles remained an issue until the Kawhi trade.

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Win
Apr 16, 2018
#13222
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

2-0 is the most dangerous lead in hockey

2-0 is the most dangerous lead in hockey, and the Blue Jackets have a 2-0 lead. They stink. I'm okay with that.

The Capitals actually came back to win this series 4-2, making the 2-0 lead truly 'dangerous' for Columbus in this specific instance.
Loss
Apr 16, 2018
#13223
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cavaliers are absolutely done after their Game 1 loss

The Cavaliers are done. Done. Absolutely done. They looked like shit today. LeBron James, I think he's over the hill.

The Cavs won the series in 7 games and made the NBA Finals, so LeBron was far from done.
Void
Apr 16, 2018
#13224
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James lost Game 1 on purpose to pad his all-time stats

LeBron actually lost this game on purpose so he can pad his all-time playoff stats.

This is a satirical theory about intent that cannot be proven, but the Cavs did win the series, meaning they played more games (padding stats).

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Void
Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.