Novak Djokovic is the tennis GOAT

I'm a Djokovic guy. I became a Djokovic guy on Sunday morning. ... Djokovic is the GOAT. He's got 16 Grand Slam titles, and he's six years younger than Federer.

Pete Sampras is the tennis GOAT

I was actually rooting for Djokovic too because the more that you can poke holes in Federer's resume, the more you can say Sampras is the GOAT. ... He is the goat. Sampras is the goat.

The person who invented tennis scoring was a crackhead with a brain injury

The person who invented tennis scoring in the first place was just like a crackhead with a brain injury. 15-30-40. And then there's love. Why?

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.