Indiana winning the National Championship is the greatest story in college football history

The Indiana Hoosiers are national champions of the college football world... it is the craziest story... the greatest story in college football. That is a fact.

Fernando Mendoza will be the Las Vegas Raiders starting quarterback next year

Fernando Mendoza got to show that he can take a beating. Yeah. Which he will likely have to do as a Las Vegas Raiders quarterback next year.

Mark Fletcher will be one of the best running backs in college football next year

In the second half, Miami got the ground game going. [Mark] Fletcher is awesome. I've loved watching Fletcher this entire year. He's gonna be back next year. And I think the Hurricanes are gonna have another great team.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.