Learn to do everything left-handed when you are eight years old

I would say learn to do everything left-handed. Tie your right hand behind your back for a while [when you're eight].

Cursive is an overrated and useless skill

Cursive is overrated. All of our eight-year-old listeners, cursive is [fucking]... You'll never need it again.

I was 6'4" and dunking in a basketball game by the 8th grade

I was 6'4 in eighth grade. I dunked in a basketball game in eighth grade. You're Magic Johnson. You're playing all five positions. I was like, dude, this is the greatest thing ever. I'm going to the league.

The 2026 Thanksgiving Day schedule is the best single day of football ever

Wednesday night is the Packers versus the Rams. Then Thursday, Thanksgiving day is Bears, lions, Eagles, Cowboys, chiefs bills. That will be great. Like the day of Thanksgiving? Yeah. That's the best day of football I think maybe ever.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

Congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche on winning the Stanley Cup. I'd like to say congratulations to the [Avs]. Pretty good bet to the [Avs]. Pretty good it's a pretty good bet if you, if you're a betting man, which I am. Congrats to the [Avs].

Pittsburgh fleeced Boston in the gorilla trade

I think Boston got fleeced. Frankie got traded, 7-year-old. Frankie got traded to the Boston Zoo. He's going to just be chilling with a bunch of other dudes. Little Joe got traded to Pittsburgh because he's going to be mating and making new gorilla. Pittsburgh's the one that's gonna be making more gorillas. You guys are do everything all wrong. They're, they're making a gorilla factory in Pittsburgh.