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HankHank

Blake Bortles is officially back

So my who's back of the week is Blake Bortles of the Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club. Huge game. Four touchdowns. He's back.

Bortles actually led the Jaguars to the AFC Championship game in the 2017 season, making this take arguably correct for the context of that specific season.

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Void
Sep 25, 2017
#24590
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL intentionally delivers its most entertaining games when its back is against the wall

Just so happens, the NFL had the most entertaining slate of games in years. Maybe a call? On the weekend where they perhaps needed it more than ever. Maybe [Commissioner] David Stern made the call.

This is a subjective conspiracy theory about game entertainment levels being manipulated by the league office.
Win
Sep 25, 2017
#18166
Big CatBig Cat

Joe Flacco is officially no longer elite and stinks

I think Flacco stinks. Are we now worried that Joe Flacco's eliteness is so far behind us that we will never remember that he was once elite?

Flacco's 2017 season was poor (18 TDs, 13 INTs) and he was eventually replaced by Lamar Jackson. His 'elite' status never returned.
Void
Sep 25, 2017
#18167
Big CatBig Cat

Ben Roethlisberger has the worst body in America

Is Big Ben hurt? Well, yes. So he's always in a constant state. His body is never good... Big Ben, as the crow flies, has probably the worst body in general of anyone in America. Name me anybody with a shittier body.

This is a subjective and hyperbolic comedic comparison of bodies in America.

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HankHank

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

The Knicks are currently in the second round/Conference finals (implied), so they haven't won the championship yet.
Void
HankHank

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

Subjective personal stance.
Loss
HankHank

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.

It was definitively a fart.