Bryce Harper probably demanded his $330M contract be paid entirely via Cash Card

I bet you that Bryce Harper has a cash card. I bet you he demanded his entire contract to be paid in the cash card. Do you know why? Because $330 million is cool. But you know what's really cool is having the cash card from the Cash App.

Kyler Murray is officially draftable on my board because he measured at 5'10"

So 5'10", I like him now. He is draftable. He moved up my big board. He is still undraftable for John Elway, like eight inches too short. John Elway even said that. He was like, yeah, he's... You can't get him under center.

Jason Witten's return to the NFL is a genius move to save his broadcasting legacy

What Jason Witten has just pulled off... with the one year of broadcasting that he did. And he was bad. He was very bad. He is now going back to the NFL, and now he can forever be the guy where, well, he never got his second year, so we don't know. The jury's still out on whether or not Jason Witten is bad, and history will be kind to him and not mock him.

The Colts are even less watchable than the Chargers

They are the deadest, most non-competitive football team, other than the Chargers, that I've ever seen. I think they might be worse.

The Patriots feel like a one- or two-seed

I feel like the Bills are gonna lose another game. Not against the Patriots. Lose their next game against the Patriots and then we're gonna be in the same spot. So where do you feel though overall? Like are you the two seed? One seed possibly one seed. Two. Two or one seed. Yeah. That's how it feels.

The Jets can't build a winning culture

You just can't. It's hard to build a winning culture ever. It doesn't matter what you're doing if you're the Jets.