Jason Witten is clearly over his head and won't have a job at ESPN by the end of the year

I officially, officially feel bad for Jason Witten. He is so clearly over his head... And now I just feel bad because it feels like he's not going to have a job at the end of the year. And this is painful.

Trading for Demaryius Thomas makes the Texans a viable playoff contender

I think this actually makes the Texans a viable playoff contender. Well, okay. Three years ago. I want to caveat it by saying everything that I know about Demaryius Thomas, I stopped learning new things about him after the Super Bowl when they won.

Bill Belichick leaked the Josh Gordon suspension news to find a rat in the organization

Somebody was saying that Bill Belichick smells a rat inside his own nest. And he leaked that information to one person. And he was like, if this makes its way to Ian Rapoport's Twitter account, then I know that it's you, and it breaks my heart, but I know it was you.

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.