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Win
HankHank

The Red Sox season is over because they have no pitching

I'm putting the Dunchain on the Red Sox... I mean, it's about time. They got no pitching.

The 2019 Red Sox finished 84-78 and missed the postseason by 12 games, finishing 3rd in the AL East. Hank's 'Dunchain' was accurate.

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Loss
Aug 5, 2019
#11279
Big CatBig Cat

NBA players only hit every shot in New York City because the rims are too big

I don't know what it is about that court where every NBA player goes and plays in New York City. I think those rims might be too big because everyone hits every shot. Very soft rims.

The size of rims in professional or high-level streetball courts is standardized at 18 inches. There is no evidence NYC rims are larger, though they might be 'soft' (more forgiving).
Void
Aug 5, 2019
#11280
Big CatBig Cat

Tony Gonzalez had the worst possible timing for a tight end because Rob Gronkowski came right after him

Tony Gonzalez... He has the ultimate unfortunate timing for a tight end because he was the greatest tight end of all time. And then [Gronk] came along and the tight end position is completely changed where tight ends are basically wide receivers now... doesn't it feel like if we, you know, in 2011, it was a no-brainer Tony Gonzalez's best tight end of all time to have someone come in right at the tail end of his career and be better than him? That's got to suck.

While subjective, many analysts do rank Gronkowski's peak over Gonzalez's career longevity. Gonzalez retired in 2013, exactly when Gronk's dominance was peaking.
Void
Aug 5, 2019
#11281
Big CatBig Cat

I would rather have a Super Bowl ring than be in the Hall of Fame

Watching the Hall of Fame induction made me, for a brief moment, think that Cris Carter, when he said he'd rather be in the Hall of Fame than have a Super Bowl ring, might have been on to something, and then as soon as the season starts, I'm like, nah, Super Bowl.

Subjective preference regarding sporting honors.

More from Hank

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Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
Open
HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.