We are the first of the suckers on Top Shot, but we can still get rich.

I think we're the first of the suckers. So sometimes we can get in and we'll be a little bit sucker, we'll be less suckery than the majority of people, but we're still like the first sucker. I think we can still get rich off this, though, because I bought the most pristine mint condition gift of Alex Caruso blocking James Harden.

I'm going to corner the market on Lou Dort Top Shots and get rich when he wins MVP

My entire investment strategy is to corner the market on Lou Dort. Okay. So I'm putting everyone in the Dortcher chamber. We're going to buy all the L...

If a guy has cauliflower ears, stay far away from him.

That's the oldest rule in the book. If a guy has cauliflower ears, stay far away.

The fescue at Shinnecock was disappointing and didn't provide enough of a penalty for bad shots

My complaint this week as a fan of carnage, I didn't think the Fescue did anything. ... You're teasing us. Like I want you, you're telling me this is gonna be hard. I'm excited for like the not top 10 play. ... And it just felt like everybody was just hitting it in there and like a 12, everyone's just whacking it up on the green. So I miss that.

Golf course bunkers should have wider teeth on the rakes to make them real penalties

Jack Nicklaus did it at his course for a while where his rakes had thicker teeth. And when you went in there, it would sit down and again, as a player it's annoying, but it's also like, man, you shouldn't be in the sand then. We need to make this shit harder. We gotta start calling penalties. Make the teeth on the bunker rakes wider.

I'm going to 'shock the world' and win the Masters this week.

I say we shock the world to win the thing. I've been thinking a lot about it. I feel like not winning's less fun than winning. So I'm kind of just gonna go for it.