Morning international games ruin the day for functional human beings

When you have the morning game, it fucks up your entire day as a functional human being. You wake up early, you can't do anything because you're watching the football game. And then guess what? When that football game's over, you have to watch another football game. Roger Goodell hates church.

The Steelers offense is for real now that Aaron Rodgers is getting the ball out fast

Steelers offense actually looked for real. Maybe this is what the Steelers offense is going to be, is Aaron Rodgers getting the ball out insanely fast. I think I saw the stat, it was 2.17 seconds to throw. He just was whipping it around. It didn't matter because the Steelers' offense looked better than it has in a while.

Mike Tomlin absolutely lives in his fears despite his favorite catchphrase

Mike Tomlin, one of his favorite quotes to say is, 'we don't live in our fears.' Bullshit, dude. You do live in your fears. You had a fourth and maybe a half a yard on the opponent's 39 yard line and you punted. Everyone in the world is going for this. Just maybe go for it.

The Jets' season is over

The season's over. No, it's done. No, season ended officially ended one week before Halloween. Made it further than last year.

The Eagles will beat the Panthers

The Eagles are gonna win this weekend. They're gonna get fixed. Must win.

The Jets control their destiny in the division

If you win the game, you're three and three. The Patriots are three and three. You control your own destiny in the division.