Billionaire MLB owners should pay for their own rosters instead of asking for player concessions

Billionaires should pay for their own fucking rosters. It's also crazy because... there's no salary cap in baseball. So now you're saying there's going to be a salary cap for one year? ... I'm not going to be someone who being like, players, you have to take less just because the guys are saying that they're, the people in charge are saying they're losing money, even though they won't tell you how they're losing money.

An 82-game MLB season would be a 'sprint' that generates massive TV ratings

I actually think the TV – people will watch it a lot more on TV not only because it's captive audience but an 82-game that's a sprint. If you have a five game losing streak in the 82-game you're sunk. It just means more. Yeah, I like the 82-game season.

If the Lakers win the 2020 title, people will put an asterisk on LeBron James' championship

If the Lakers win, [Hank] is absolutely putting an asterisk on LeBron James' title. ... It will be an asterisk next to that team forever.

In acting and improv, the best way to be memorable is to try to make everyone else in the scene funnier

As you get older, what you learn is the best way to make the whole scene funnier and thus make yourself more memorable is if everyone is trying to make each other funnier in the scene. If you're all setting each other up and the scene starts cooking and then everyone remembers the event of the scene and they remember that you were part of this amazing scene. But if everyone's trying to bulldozer one another... you'll get a funny moment, but the scene will die.

Clever comedians will always find a way to thrive despite PC or 'woke' culture

Whenever a new stricture comes along, there's always someone that can then come along and find a cool way around it that actually advances things. ... Now it's the PC woke people trying to tamper everything down. People find clever ways around it. There's always the push and then the push through. ... Our job is to find the clever way around it. The clever way around it is to not throw a temper tantrum.

The Star Wars and Simpsons fanbases are the hardest to please because their 'corporate culture' is built on the idea that they are owed everything

Is the Star Wars fan base the hardest fan base to please? It's up there. I think it's up there with the Simpsons fan base. ... The corporate culture of some of these other fandoms is, 'I am owed everything.' It's the line from The Simpsons when the comic book guy is like, 'it's the worst episode ever, and I feel like they owe me an apology.' They've given you years of entertainment for free, and it just goes, 'worst episode ever.' You just want to be angry.