PMT DB
Patton Oswalt, We Start A Dungeons And Dragons Game + Waffle House Fighting
MLB might be back and NBA seems like its making progress but the real news of the day is Waffle House fighting. (-) We read one of the best stories on the internet about a guy who continually fights the same Waffle House cook for screwing up his eggs. (-) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including a call to Marlins Man. (-) Patton Oswalt joins the show to talk about his new stand up on Netflix, "I Love Everything", comedy in 2020 and being in a million funny shows/movies. (-) We start our bi-monthly Dungeons and Dragons game with Dungeon Master Tim Woods and the gang gets into trouble right off the bat. (-)
Recap
Big CatBillionaire MLB owners should pay for their own rosters instead of asking for player concessions
Billionaires should pay for their own fucking rosters. It's also crazy because... there's no salary cap in baseball. So now you're saying there's going to be a salary cap for one year? ... I'm not going to be someone who being like, players, you have to take less just because the guys are saying that they're, the people in charge are saying they're losing money, even though they won't tell you how they're losing money.
PFT CommenterIf the Lakers win the 2020 title, people will put an asterisk on LeBron James' championship
If the Lakers win, [Hank] is absolutely putting an asterisk on LeBron James' title. ... It will be an asterisk next to that team forever.
PFT CommenterWaffle House is one of America's finest institutions
Waffle House is one of America's finest institutions. ... If you're a millionaire, you should still be going to Waffle House on a regular basis. It is the best night food. It's the best breakfast food.
Big CatIt is healthy for men to have rivals or grudges to drive them every day
I honestly don't – I think this guy is actually the most well-adjusted adult I've ever heard. ... But having a grudge and having a foe that you wake up in the morning, you're like, Fuck that guy. It's healthy. ... Having something to drive you every single day is healthy.
Hot Seat Cool Throne
HankI will sweep PFT 4-0 in our Thursday game
4 o'clock on Thursday. You can see, probably going to be a 4-0 sweep, so make sure you sweep it early because it's going to be over early. ... 4-1 or better. [Or] I'll do a show with no shirt on.
HankLacrosse is the sport of the future
My cool throne is lacrosse, sport of the future. Yep. Paul Rabel figured out betting, so they're doing an event in the summer. People are going to be able to bet on it.
PFT CommenterSammy Watkins is in a cult
My cool throne is Sammy Watkins being in a cult. ... As we've been speculating, we've been squatting on the take that Sammy Watkins is in the cult for like the last three years on the show. Sammy really... talked about all the weird stuff. ... So now he's happy that he's in a cult.
Big CatDarren Rovell is dangerously wrong for claiming NFL players get CTE with near certainty
Darren Rovell is here. All players will sign. (Parentheses. They already get CTE with near certainty). ... How about the simple fact that we can't diagnose CTE in living people yet? So to say anything with near certainty would be completely wrong and dangerous.
Interview
Patton OswaltClever comedians will always find a way to thrive despite PC or 'woke' culture
Whenever a new stricture comes along, there's always someone that can then come along and find a cool way around it that actually advances things. ... Now it's the PC woke people trying to tamper everything down. People find clever ways around it. There's always the push and then the push through. ... Our job is to find the clever way around it. The clever way around it is to not throw a temper tantrum.
Patton OswaltThe Star Wars and Simpsons fanbases are the hardest to please
Is the Star Wars fan base the hardest fan base to please? [Big Cat]. It's up there. I think it's up there with the Simpsons fan base. ... I think the corporate culture of some of these other fandoms is, I am owed everything. ... It's the worst episode ever, and I feel like they owe me an apology.