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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Achilles is a liability and would be the first Greek legend I'd cut from the team

Achilles. [He's] gotta go. Liability. See ya. Listen, best ability is availability.

Satirical application of sports logic to mythology.

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Win
Jun 30, 2021
#17255
Big CatBig Cat

Giannis Antetokounmpo's ligaments are made of rubber bands because a normal body would have 'blown up' after that injury

Giannis, I don't know, he like broke his leg. ACL? Yeah. Doctor David PFT says, 'I personally think it's an MCL.' ... but whatever it is, his ligaments are not made out of ligaments. They're made out of like rubber bands. Because it's crazy. Like my leg would have, my body would have just blown up, given up at that point.

Giannis famously returned just a week later to win the NBA Finals MVP, proving he did indeed have incredible recuperative powers, though 'rubber bands' is obviously metaphorical.
Loss
Jun 30, 2021
#17256
Big CatBig Cat

NBA teams should sign stars and then only play them once the role players have won the early playoff series

Reggie Miller was mega right about resting the players. You should just, the new formula should be you sign star players and then you just try to win all the playoff series against inferior teams with your role guys. And then you put your stars back in for the fight.

This is an intentionally absurd strategy that no team would actually implement.
Void
Jun 30, 2021
#17257
Big CatBig Cat

The 2021 NBA Playoff injuries are mostly freak occurrences rather than a result of the shortened season

I still believe... that this is the weirdest playoffs ever... a lot of these injuries are kind of freak injuries that I don't know if that has anything to do with playing the season was shortened rests off of the bubble. I just think there's a lot of freak injuries. They've happened all at once.

This remains a debated topic among sports scientists and NBA fans; while some injuries like AD's could be load-related, others like Trae Young stepping on a ref's foot are clearly freak events.

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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

The Pistons did indeed improve from 14 wins in 2023-24 to a high seed in 2026, making the trajectory claim historically accurate within the show's timeline.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

The 2026 Stanley Cup winner is pending. If Montreal wins, we await PFT's French naturalization.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.