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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Adam Silver should put a strip club inside the NBA bubble

I blame Adam Silver because Adam Silver should have a strip club inside the bubble. There should be a strip club. Yes. These are these are NBA players with needs and that among these are casual lap dances and Delicious lemon pepper barbecue wings.

Adam Silver obviously did not do this. It's a satirical suggestion.

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Win
Jul 27, 2020
#12626
Big CatBig Cat

The 60-game MLB season 'on pace' stats are going to be electric

The on pace oh I for the 60 Game season is going to be electric. It sucks though, because not as many people are doing the on pace tweets... like Bryce Harper's on pace for 350 RBIs.

The 2020 season did produce several extreme 'on pace' stats due to the small sample size, and fans did engage with the absurdity.
Win
Jul 27, 2020
#12627
Big CatBig Cat

MLB players will fight more this year because they can hear trash talk in empty stadiums

I think there might be more tempers flaring because you can hear every slight every you remark that is said in an empty Stadium. I really want the broadcast to turn off the pumpkin crowd noise when there's a manager argument with the Umpire.

There were several notable bench-clearing incidents in 2020 (like Astros vs Dodgers) fueled by the 'quiet stadium' environment.
Win
Jul 27, 2020
#12629
Big CatBig Cat

The Jamal Adams trade is a win-win, but a massive haul for the Jets

I actually love this trade for the Jets... To get up what they end up giving up a first-round and what was it? The final trade haul I believe was like they got Billy's want to put this in there. You got two of the biggest two first round picks a fourth-round pick. That's so much. It's a win-win as far as trades in the NFL go.

The Jets used the picks to eventually draft Garrett Wilson and Alijah Vera-Tucker. Jamal Adams' career in Seattle was marred by injuries and declining play, making it a clear win for the Jets.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.