Bill Belichick and Tom Brady will retire together in a 2019 suicide pact
They're going to retire simultaneously. They might do a Romeo and Juliet-like suicide pact. Here's my prediction, okay? 2019, they both kill themselves and retire at the same time.
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View episodeThe NFL MVP race is boring and I don't care who wins
My take on the MVP is I don't give a fuck. Ooh, that's pretty good. So, yeah, a little hot take there for you. I don't really – I can't get excited about an MVP race.
Tom Brady should be the NFL MVP despite only playing 12 games
If Tom Brady isn't the MVP, it's just further showing [the system is corrupt]... He still had better stats than him. Tom Brady's stats are still better than the other quarterbacks in contention stats. That's the point.
Tom Brady is a system quarterback because Jimmy Garoppolo played well in his absence
Well, [Brady] is also a system quarterback because Jimmy Garoppolo played pretty well. So, yeah. You can't give it to a system quarterback.
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View profileThe Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss
The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.
I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup
I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.
Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.
Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.