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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bill Belichick might opt out of the 2020 season to sabotage Josh McDaniels and tank for Trevor Lawrence

My big-time stay woke on this is that Bill Belichick, he might opt out if coaches can opt out... he's got so many players on defense that are out, right? If Bill Belichick opts out McDaniels probably takes over, right? They go 4-12. All of a sudden no one wants to sign Josh McDaniels to a head coaching contract next year. He keeps the team together maybe gets Trevor Lawrence.

Belichick did not opt out of the 2020 season, and the Patriots finished 7-9, missing out on Trevor Lawrence.

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Void
Aug 7, 2020
#17882
Big CatBig Cat

Jon Gruden faking a COVID-19 diagnosis to teach the Raiders a lesson is the ultimate football guy move

Jon Gruden expect the unexpected guys, and he holds a zoom meeting and he has I think it was a special teams coach announces that... coach Gruden is in the hospital. He's dealing with coronavirus and all his players like oh my god... and they're like ha just kidding gotcha... take this seriously. Let's all learn a lesson from this. It was an all-time football guy move.

Subjective opinion on what constitutes a 'football guy move'.
Win
Aug 7, 2020
#22337
Big CatBig Cat

The MLB will successfully implement a 'virtual bubble' by banning players from going out to dinner

The MLB is trying to get to a virtual bubble. They have new rules that basically... if you get caught doing these things you can't play anymore. Yep. They actually did that. So, thanks for listening, Rob Manfred.

The MLB did finish its 2020 season successfully outside of a strict physical bubble, though it did have some early outbreaks.
Void
Aug 7, 2020
#17886
Big CatBig Cat

There are more NBA teams that 'nobody wants to play' in the 2020 playoffs than ever before

Right now off the top my head. There are more teams that nobody wants to play in the playoffs in the NBA at this point than there have ever been... No one wants to play Toronto... the Heat... Oklahoma City... the Blazers... the Rockets.

Subjective assessment of playoff matchups.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.