Patrick Mahomes will win many more Super Bowl MVPs

Patrick Mahomes wins his first of what should be many Super Bowl MVPs.

Tom Brady will be a Las Vegas Raider

But the story, and we'll get to the Chiefs, but the story for right now... Tom Brady will be a Raider. Holy shit.

General Managers and Owners should be allowed to call timeouts from the booth

By the way, I think that owners and general managers should be able to call timeouts from the booth. I think that'd be great, a nice little addition to the game. Just get in the game.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.