Jeb Bush doesn't know how to use a keyboard because he's a low energy guy

Jeb Bush has not tweeted at me. Um, that's probably cause he's just such a low energy guy. He can't figure out how to use a keyboard.

Fat is coming back as a trend and Brooklyn will lead the way

Fat is coming back. And good news for you. The first place that it's going to come back, place at the forefront of all these trends, is Brooklyn. You know, like back in the day, if you were fat, it meant that you were well fed and that you could take care of yourself.

Witches are more real than the ghosts in scary movies

Witches. Big time fear... They're more real than [Hank's] scary movies.

I will turn the other cheek for one egg thrown at me, but two eggs crosses the line.

Every man has a line that you can't cross. My line is two eggs. If you throw one egg at me, I will turn my cheek. And the communist is fine. Like we can talk shit. But if you throw two eggs, I've run out of cheeks to turn.

LSU getting kicked out of the SEC would actually be good for their brand

The SEC condemned [bringing back NFL camp players] and then they got together and they're talking about banning it, and then now they're saying that they will in fact kick LSU out if they attempt to do this. Okay. Which, I mean, this is good. I think for LSU'S brand, it's just being like Rebels. Yeah. And a conference that also features Ole Miss. They are the true rebels.

I am feeling very bad vibes about the Commanders' 2026 season

I'm feeling really, really bad about the upcoming Commander season. Just bad vibes coming outta camp from the local media, from the, the GM who's already getting up in front of the team and saying that there's a lot of stuff that they've done behind the scenes... I feel like this is where I get my heart ripped outta my chest every year.