Ovechkin breaking the goal record from his office against the Islanders was the perfect way to end the chase

It was awesome to see him score from his office against the Islanders... Ovie was like, 'fuck it, I know it's at home [and I don't want an empty netter]'. He did it perfectly. That shot has been happening for 20 years. Nobody's ever figured out how to stop it. He did it from his office.

Blackhawks owner Jerry Reinsdorf is a piece of shit

I've been watching all the games illegally this year. Good for you. I have a workaround that I'm, I will not tell, but I have a workaround that I've been watching the games illegally because [Jerry Reinsdorf] is such a piece of shit. Yeah. I don't wanna give him money. He sucks.

Alex Ovechkin's mom is terrifying and could definitely beat me up

His mom, I'm terrified of Ovie's mom by the way. I think she could beat the fuck outta me. Probably, yeah.

The Falcons are a real, flawed good team

I do think that the Falcons are real. Yeah. I think that they're a good team. They're a flawed good team.

The Falcons may have the NFL's best skill-position group

I think that if the Falcons can do that, they have maybe the best set of skill position players in the NFL. If you're able to protect Penix, he's good enough to distribute it and then just let their awesome players do awesome shit.

MLB's proposed check-swing replay would make everything a check swing

Yeah. Parallel with the plate. Yeah. That's what I thought the rule was. And apparently that's just not the rule anymore. If they ever bring this system to Major League Baseball, I get—everything's a check swing.